Dirty's Day (Spongebob Squarepants Fanfiction)
Synopsis[]
- The Dirty Bubble and his family have turned Bikini Bottom into a mayhem prompting Spongebob, Mermaidman and Barnacleboy to try and stop it.
Characters[]
Spongebob Squarepants
The Dirty Bubble
Mermaidman
Barnacleboy
The Dirty Bubble's Family
Francine
Bikini Bottom Citizens
Mrs.Puff (cameo)
Squidward Tentacles (non speaking cameo)
Patrick Star
Bikini Bottom Denizens
The Story[]
The story begins on the side of a barren road, at first, there is seemingly no life spotted anywhere but there is, well, little…. two old celebrities, one confused, the other cranky, lost, while trying to find an ice cream parlor.
BARNACLEBOY: Just face it you old coot! We’re lost!
Mermaidman pulls out an ancient looking rusty compass that still has it's tag from 1920 on it.
MERMAIDMAN: I have had this compass since the 1st Bikini War! It never lies!
BARNACLEBOY: It's pointing south! We’re as north as a tundra.
A fish named Francine passes by in Winter wear.
FRANCINE: Happy travels eskimos!
Francine skies away.
MERMAIDMAN: Well maybe my compass has malfunctioning batteries.
BARNACLEBOY: It is run on half of the Invisible Boatmobiles fuel!
MERMAIDMAN: Actually all of it.
BARNACLEBOY: Wait, what?
The boatmobile then runs out of the last of its gas.
BARNACLEBOY: Huh, so our boat just ran out of gas like what, 50 miles away home, nice one oldman!
MERMAIDMAN: Oldman is my father though.
BARNACLEBOY: Just shut it and get the backup gas from the trunk, will ya?!
MERMAIDMAN: Okay, okay, but bare with me, I accidentally flushed my glasses down the toilet earlier, so I’ll have trouble seeing and I might get the wrong thing… again.
BARNACLEBOY: Fine, i’ll get it, lazy.
Mermaidman relaxes and eats a half eaten donut while Barnacleboy angrily grunts to himself and fills up the tank with backup gas. It is full again and now the two heroes be on the way again, heading back towards Bikini Bottom.
MERMAIDMAN: Is a football game on tonight Barnacleboy? You know how much I love football!
BARNACLEBOY: Football season doesn’t even start for another three months, are you serious?
MERMAIDMAN: Then why did I see live football last night on the channel called DVR?!
BARNACLEBOY: What the?! DVR isn’t….. ah… never mind.
Suddenly the two heroes hear a scream.
MERMAIDMAN: See, I knew it! Only somebody screams once a touchdown happens! Hoot! Hoot!
BARNACLEBOY: That wasn’t a celebratory scream you bozohead, that was fear. And where did it come from?
MERMAIDMAN: It's right in front of us.
Barnacleboy puts on his glasses to get a clearer focus and sees that the person that screamed was Spongebob, who has been blasted by The Dirty Bubble using his breath of doom.
THE DIRTY BUBBLE: Hahaha! Stupid naive Spongeboy! You’re nose is now trapped by the awesome amazing DIRTY BREATH OF DOOM! Hahahahaaa!
SPONGEBOB: I’ll never be able to smell the taste of Mama's Pastries again.
THE DIRTY BUBBLE: Hahaha!
BARNACLEBOY: Oh snap! We gotta save that Spongekid! Even if he is a nuisance!
Mermaidman steps out of the car.
MERMAIDMAN: Quick lad! Retrieve the orb of confusion and the cosmic ray!
Mermaidman's pants then fall down revealing pink polka dotted underwear. He gets embarrassed.
MERMAIDMAN: And I’ll go fetch another pair of pants! Hehe!
Barnacleboy gets what Mermaidman told him to retrieve. Spongebob and The Dirty Bubble notice him.
SPONGEBOB: Yay! Mermaidman and Barnacleboy showed up!
THE DIRTY BUBBLE(to Barnacleboy): Hahaha! And how do you plan to stop me little boy?! Hahaha!
BARNACLEBOY: This little boy is going to make you confused and cosmic!
Barnacleboy presses the orb of confusion to on after throwing it, The Dirty Bubble bounces away and it affects Spongebob instead.
SPONGEBOB: Duhhhhh uhhhhhh
BARNACLEBOY: Fishpaste!
The Dirty Bubble tries to get away.
MERMAIDMAN: Stop!
Barnacleboy chases after him, The Dirty Bubble turns his head, spits a loogie into Barnacleboy's face and then hijacks Old Man Jenkins’ new porsche and drives off to Bikini Bottom.
BARNACLEBOY: Ughhhh!! I gotta get that disinfectant!
Barnacleboy rushes off to the Invisible Boatmobile to retrieve that. Mermaidman throws a waterball at Spongebob to clean the breath of doom off of him.
SPONGEBOB: Thank you Mermaidman! You are a lifesaver!
MERMAIDMAN: Recognition be mine! Now….. you got change so I can buy a taco?
Barnacleboy returns all disinfected.
BARNACLEBOY: Hey!
MERMAIDMAN: What? I’m hungry.
BARNACLEBOY: We have a mission to attend to!
MERMAIDMAN: With who?
BARNACLEBOY: We’re supposed to stop The Dirty Bubble!
MERMAIDMAN: Aww, what about Man-Ray?
BARNACLEBOY: Get in the boat! Get in the boat!!
Mermaidman pouts and gets into the drivers seat.
SPONGEBOB: May I uh tag along with you guys?
BARNACLEBOY: Spongebob, just stay out of this, this is too dangerous for a little kid like you.
SPONGEBOB: But I’m 31!
MERMAIDMAN: He's right Barnacleboy.
BARNACLEBOY: You don’t even know how to solve the TV remote you old coot, how do you know he's right?
MERMAIDMAN: Never underestimate a fan! They know all the moves! Say Spongebob? How about join us in our quest to defeat the Sinister Slug!
SPONGEBOB: Dirty Bubble!
MERMAIDMAN: Who?
BARNACLEBOY: Just get in the boat Spongekid! Ugh, I should’ve brought my aspirin.
Spongebob gets into the back.
MERMAIDMAN: Next stop! Bottom Bikini!
BARNACLEBOY: And right after that, you're instant intelligence pill.
They drive off.
After driving for one hour, the three finally arrive in Bikini Bottom, which appears as a desolate apocalyptic mayhem. They exit.
MERMAIDMAN: Now Barnacleboy? One question.
BARNACLEBOY: What?
MERMAIDMAN: Here
BARNACLEBOY: What?
MERMAIDMAN: What happened here? Did the purge commence?
BARNACLEBOY: What?! No! The town has been taken over! By the looks of it!
MERMAIDMAN: Phew!
SPONGEBOB: Who do you think has taken it over?
BARNACLEBOY: Obviously The Dirty Bubble.
Suddenly, they hear a noise.
BARNACLEBOY: Quick hide!
Spongebob goes to hide… Mermaidman stares at a picture of a pretty young woman while drooling and then Barnacleboy grabs him by the shirt and they hide. Some characters appear that look like the Dirty Bubble (DB) but are different colors and likely probably his family, and still dirty.
YELLOW DB: Hahaha! Are you sure you heard commotion over here?!
BLUE DB: Yes! A three way one! Like when you get three options with a love mate,.. marriage, cheating or a divorce.
YELLOW & BLUE DB: Hahahahahha!!
A red Dirty Bubble then shows up.
RED DB: May we end this conversation now, our hero, The original Dirty Bubble, wants us to unclog his toilet, after flushing many of the jerks that is Bikini Bottom down it.
YELLOW, RED AND BLUE DB: Hahahahahahah!
The three laughing morons leave while also choking on some of their mucus from laughing so much as such corny jokes. Mermaidman, Barnacleboy and Spongebob come out of hiding.
BARNACLEBOY: Man, they need to take a comedy class, those jokes were stupid.
MERMAIDMAN: Well that three way one was pretty clever though!
BARNACLEBOY: Zip it.
MERMAIDMAN: Yes ma’am.
BARNACLEBOY: Der, urrrr, forget it, anyways, lets find out what happened to the people of Bikini Bottom.
SPONGEBOB: Like now!
MERMAIDMAN: Moo!
BARNACLEBOY: What?
MERMAIDMAN: Spongebob said “like cow!” A cow goes moo!
BARNACLEBOY: And an old fart goes shut the mouth up.
SPONGEBOB: Focus!
Spongebob, Barnacleboy and Mermaidman pass by some buildings,.. the Barg-N-Mart has been turned into the “Comedy Bubble,” where young Dirty Bubbles learn how to do the recurrent laugh.
YOUTH DIRTY BUBBLES(as high pitched as helium): Hahahahaa!
There is also the fish dungeon.
FISH 1: Help us!
FISH 2: Please!
PINK DB: Hahaha! Shut up!
The two fish are then viciously beaten with garbage sticks by the Pink and Purple Dirty Bubbles.
There's also the Lonely Slaves.
MRS.PUFF: I wish computers weren’t banned so that way I can get back on Findadate.com.
Mrs.Puff sighs and continues to insert her pickaxe into hard rocks while an elderly black Dirty Bubble falls asleep.
And finally The Krusty Krab, now The Original Dirty Bubble's Castle.
SPONGEBOB: We gotta get inside his castle.
BARNACLEBOY: How?
SPONGEBOB: Just follow my lead.
A Brown Dirty Bubble followed by a lime and teal one are passing by.
BROWN DB: And that is the story of how I fired a missile launcher up an octopus's behind.
Scene quickly shows Squidward, who has painfully landed on the Moon.
BROWN, LIME AND TEAL DB: Hahahahaa!
LIME DB: Best game ever! Haha!
TEAL DB: Agreed! Hahaha! Hey, a rotten apple!
The three dirty bubbles notice a rotten apple.
BROWN DB: Mine!
They have however fallen into a trap and are taken down by Spongebob, Mermaidman and Barnacleboy. The three dirty bubbles are swept into the sewer, a popular vacation spot for many Dirty's and their stolen uniforms are now the three heroes belongings.
BARNACLEBOY: How do you think this will work! We’re not bubbles of dirty soap or whatever gases those fiends are made of!
SPONGEBOB: Mermaidman, in Episode 427, it was confirmed that The Dirty Bubble has a small brain right?
MERMAIDMAN: Yeah? Why?
SPONGEBOB: So, even though we may not look anything like them, they will still be too stupid to notice the difference, especially if we have the right uniforms on.
BARNACLEBOY: Makes sense.
MERMAIDMAN: Affirmative.
SPONGEBOB: Okay let's go.
The three heroes walk to the Dirty Castle while Mermaidman picks up a discarded Ice Cream he notices and swallows it.
Meanwhile, The Dirty Bubble is playing, “Give The Starfish Wedgies.”
THE DIRTY BUBBLE: Hahahah! Have I gotten that question correct?
AQUAMARINE DB: Hahahha! Yes! Trump is a fan of Dirty Bubbles worldwide!
AQUAMARINE AND ORIGINAL DB: Hahahha!
The starfish is then given another atomic wedgie by a crane.
PATRICK: Oww! HOWW OW! And I still haven’t received my ice cream!
AQUAMARINE AND ORIGINAL DB: Hahahahha!
The three Dirty's then hear some people enter. Mermaidman, Spongebob and Barnacleboy but to them, just more members of the family clan.
THE DIRTY BUBBLE: Hahahha! May I help you Brown, Lime and Teal?!
BROWN(Barnacleboy): Haha. Yes, I would like for you to deliver your inner most secrets to us,.. haha ha ha, our laugh though right.
THE DIRTY BUBBLE: Hahaha! I do love our annoying laughs! Well wait, all family members know our in's and outs.
BROWN(Barnacleboy): Haha, I uh forgot, short term memory loss. Haha.
TEAL(Spongebob): Same, Haha.
LIME(Mermaidman): Is there prune juice and broccoli tonight?
BROWN(Barnacleboy)[to Mermaidman]: Shut it!
THE DIRTY BUBBLE: Hahaha! You sure know how to joke around Lime! You know! Garbage Apples as always!
LIME(Mermaidman): Yay! I mean Ew!
THE DIRTY BUBBLE: Ew indeed! Hahahahahah! Now, I will spill some more secrets, follow me! Haha!
The Dirty Bubble brings his “relatives” to the “Garbage Room.” Aquamarine pulls Patrick's underwear over his head in extreme pain everywhere.
PATRICK: Owwwwww!! You’re my favorite color though!
AQUAMARINE DB: Hahahahah!
Continuing…
THE DIRTY BUBBLE: Haha, now brace yourselves, these secrets are crazy!
TEAL(Spongebob): Haha lay it on us boss man.
BROWN(Barnacleboy): Haha
LIME(Mermaidman): What are we laughing about?
THE DIRTY BUBBLE: First I have..
Suddenly the White Dirty Bubble rushes in in a panic.
WHITE DB: Sir, three were kidnapped.
THE DIRTY BUBBLE: Hahaha, wait what?
WHITE DB: Brown, Teal and Lime Dirty Bubbles are missing, there's three impostors.
THE DIRTY BUBBLE: Impossible! They are right here!
The two dirty bubbles however notice the three running away and then the costumes falling making them run faster.
THE DIRTY BUBBLE(now seeing their real identities): Hahaha! You gotta be kidding me! Stay here.
The Dirty Bubble gives chase.
SPONGEBOB: Come on! We have to search this castle for something that can save Bikini Bottom!
They pass by the room from before. Patrick notices them.
PATRICK: Hey Spongebob!
SPONGEBOB: Can’t talk Pat!
THE DIRTY BUBBLE: Yeah, can’t talk Pat! HAHAHAHAHA! COME HERE!
SPONGEBOB: Aaaaaaaaahahhhh!!
BARNACLEBOY: Left!
They turn left.
SPONGEBOB: Another left!
They turn left.
MERMAIDMAN: Right!
SPONGEBOB & BARNACLEBOY: Other right!
They make a third left.
THE DIRTY BUBBLE: Hahahahahahah!
The three heroes enter a room and are shocked to see the rest of the townspeople imprisoned in there.
TOWNSPERSON: Save us!
SPONGEBOB: We will later!
TOWNSPERSON: Now!
BARNACLEBOY: We have to get rid of The Dirty Bubble!
MERMAIDMAN: Yeah!
His pants fall down again and he put them up to hold them there.
A female townsperson then grabs something.
TOWNSPERSON: Here! Use my pencil to get rid of him!
Spongebob grabs the pencil.
The Dirty Bubble arrives.
THE DIRTY BUBBLE: Hahahahahahah! There you are!
SPONGEBOB: You sir, have one annoying laugh.
Spongebob throws the pencil very fast so the enemy won’t have time to escape.
THE DIRTY BUBBLE: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHHHHHH!!!!!
The pencil hits the fiend popping him.
The townspeople cheer.
BARNACLEBOY: You did it Spongebob! You saved us!
SPONGEBOB: Indeed! Still some “maintenance work” though.
BARNACLEBOY: Oh right.
Barnacleboy grabs out his Mermarang as well as Mermaidman's, since he has fallen asleep and attaches two more pencils thrown down to him and sends them out. The Mermarangs target each remaining Dirty Bubble and pop all 78 of 81 of them through a montage. They receive the mermarangs back.
The scene cuts to Bikini Bottom being normal again. Spongebob is cooking up a Krabby Patty at The Krusty Krab while Barnacleboy is cashier in Squidward's place since the octopus is still on the Moon. They then see Mermaidman having trouble with reception on the TV.
MERMAIDMAN: Oh come on! I want my football!
BARNACLEBOY: In three months.
Mermaidman, while still looking at the TV, throws his mermarang at Barnacleboy to quiet him down.
BARNACLEBOY: OW! Jerk!
However, everybody even Mermaidman laughs since it was just a joke. The scene jumps to the sewers where the real Brown, Teal and Lime Dirty Bubbles are enjoying a “vacation” and smelling the horrible fumes that are good to them.
BROWN DB: Now what?